Endgame fanfiction V

End of a Dream V

I got there before dusk. Stark's house stood on a lake, surrounded by forests, forests and silence. There was such silence as if the world was empty, as if there were no more people besides me.

I heard birds as I got out of the car; the evening came from the trees; the warm breeze brought the scent of water, and I was standing in front of Tony Stark's house and  unspeakable sadness overwhelmed me.

I saw the gentle valley of the Vanaheim, the abundant fields; the city made of wood and stone; and the remains of the aesir.

I saw the Hungarian small town, the gray house on the edge of the town, the field behind the house, the orchard, and the distant black poplar trees.

I could see a dark sky, wild mountains, blue sparkling snow, frozen walls made of ice.

I saw my son and Loki. They were so close to me that if I reached my hand out, I could have touched them. The band's mascot monster grinned on Marko's t-shirt. The kid turned and said something, but I couldn't hear his words. Loki wore his green-gold dress; his hair was ruffled by the rising wind. He looked at me, but his green eyes didn't shine, I couldn't see the smile on his face.

Before I could speak, they both disappeared, the door opened, and Tony stood on the doorstep, pale, upset.

"Did you bring them with you?" He asked instead of greeting.

"I came alone."

"No. You came with ghosts. I saw ghosts."

I looked around. It was a warm early evening, the scent of the trees and the water brought peace; the scenery exuded tranquility but Tony was all but not calm.

"Can I go in?"

"If you drink with me before I go crazy."

"You're not crazy. I saw my own ghosts. And I don't drink because I still have to drive today."

He opened the door in front of me and let me in.

"We will go crazy together. It will be funny." He made an effort to look funny, relaxed, but his hands were shaking. "And you'll leave here only next morning."

I didn't protest, I followed him without a word. I've never been at his home; every time we met, it always happened at the Headquarters.

It was a real bachelor flat with gadgets, amenities, and consumer electronics. Tony took out two glasses and poured a kind of golden drink from a crystal bottle. A smoky-aromatic scent struck my nose.

"For the yesterday!" Stark raised his glass.

"For the tomorrow! And that we can be there."

The first sip burnt my throat, but this wasn't the pure hotness of the pálinka. He looked at me over the glass.

"Why did you come?"

In the hallway, women's shoes knocked.

"Good evening, Miss Potts. At the best of times. "Tony beckoned at the glass.  "Would you join?"

"Good evening. I came to say goodbye. I think we're done today. Miss… Koma, right? Have a nice evening, Mr. Stark!"

He watched Pepper walk out the door, then drank the whiskey. He shivered and poured another.

"Is your plan getting drunk for tonight?"

"Something like that. And we're already late. Why did you come?"

"To take you home."

Stark gave me a broad smile and a wide gesture.

"Congratulations, you succeeded. If you drink, you can stay; if you not, you can sleep in the guest room."

"Tony ..."

"Do not tell me that 'Tony’!" He smashed the crystal glass to the ground that it blasting into splinters and the drink splashed around. "Every day is like this. Pepper is all about accuracy, conscience and discipline. She comes and goes, I can smell her scent and sometimes she touches me. 'Something else, Mr. Stark?' 'Good night, Mr. Stark.' How do I tell her? How do I get her back? What if she has someone in this damn reality?" He combed his hair with his finger.

He fell into an armchair and paused. I put my glass down on the counter and started looking for a towel. I'll just find the bathroom!

"Where are you going?"

"I'll clean up the splinters."

"Ehhh. So it's just like my life."

I was standing in the hallway from where Pepper arrived just before, when I turned back.

"That's why you did come home? That's why you didn't stay with us? But it has happened another time something like..."

Tony bounced up like a spring kicking him out of the armchair.

"I have memories from two worlds! I know I have a daughter, but her mother doesn't. I know what I've lost, and I know I shouldn't have lost it. Why didn't my memories go away?"

I found the bathroom, grabbed the trash bin and a pack of paper towels, went back to the living room and started to mop up the whiskey and pick up the splinters.

"When we fought there in my city ..." I stalled. I saw again what happened a year ago: the spaceships, the gray aliens; the light portal in the hallway of my house, and the Avengers in my living room. My son. Loki.

I didn't look up, just kneeling and picking up the splinters. So I was kneeling between the splinters.

"Then?" Tony's voice pulled me back into the present.

"Then you trusted the Captain."

Stark towered over me, his eyes sparkling.

"How could this happen? How come we didn't know it was going to happen? Not even that it can happen at all! Anything better than that! Whatever!" He leaned down, grabbed my arm and helped me to my feet. "Rogers preached about independence and freedom. Well, he and everyone are as free now as they can be! You know what? I don't care."

He went to the window; beyond the huge glass pane, the lake stretched out, the ever-darkening sky above it and the forest on the other side.

"I had a dream," I whispered. "A silly, childish dream ..."

"I would happy to exchange to mine," Stark said. "Because I only have nightmares. And you? What did you dream?"

"That I was an Avenger."

Tony didn't speak for a long time.

"An Avenger? Do they still exist?" he finally asked. He turned away from the window. "F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Please turn on the lights. Let be light in this damn brothel!"

The bar counter's light turned on as the small coffee table’s and the wall cabinet’s lights too.

"We need you, Tony."

His fingers clenched on his new, full glass.

"And why? To take revenge? Who? Why?"

I went to the counter and poured another serving into my glass. I grimaced. I never liked whiskey.

"To undo all."

"No."

I'm the Lady of Dreams. Dreams show me desires, feelings. Fears.

Tony Stark was scared.

"I also had a dream, you know? I told you, remember? For years, the same thing. About New York. About battle and loss." He snorted. "Post-traumatic stress. Nothing special." His whole body tensed, he barely blinked, his breathing accelerated. "Then Wanda came and that vision she caused. I have seen it many times in my dream. That dream says I can't go back."

He drank a sip, shivered, and set the glass down.

"If you came back, we would have a better chance of finding a solution."

He headed for the corridor.

"If I went back, all my friends would die. That's what I dreamed about. If I went back, I'd kill the Avengers. Come on, I'll show you your room."

"You know there are countless possible futures ahead of us? Anything can happen."

He didn't say, just nodded.

The room he led to was in the attic. It was small, but had a tiny balcony, and I could see millions of stars through the skylight.

"I was hoping you'd come back with me."

"I wish I could ..."

"I accept it," as I reached for his hand and opened my mind to the power of the Stone, his fear struck me like a flood. It had a metallic taste and a smell of blood.

Stark feared, but he was not afraid for his own life.

The vision took me to New York, to the battle of 2012, into the midst of the Chitauri invasion. I saw alien creatures streamed through the gate opened by Tesseract; I was Iron Man who carried the missile through that wormhole. In the darkness of space, the blue ball of the Earth receded. Then I just fell.

Cold. Only the cold.

Again the smell and taste of blood in my mouth.

Blood on my hand. Flames on the horizon, flames near me. Ash drifts.

Ruins of buildings. Some details are frighteningly sharp, some are blur.

The wire from the reinforced concrete beams reach out as bloody spears.

A stack of bodies in front of me.

A stack of bloody corpses. Limbs twisted in impossible angles, bloody hair; wide open, pallid eyes.

Wide open, accusing eyes.

They all look at me.

The Hulk. His last breath was a faint growl.

Natasha. Her red curls resemble clotted blood.

Clint. He sits with his head bent forward, as if watching the bow on his lap. A stream of blood drips down his neck and arms.

Thor. Next to his rigid fingers the Mjolnir lies.

The Captain. His hands are bloody, blood is leaking from his nose. His shield was broken by a huge force.

I would search his pulse, but nothing. Then… Rogers's hand is clasped to mine.

"You could have saved us. Why didn't you do more?"

The flood of pictures disappeared, but the taste of blood didn't. Stark's face was a few inches from mine, his pupil was dilated, there was sweat on his forehead. I felt like I was looking in the mirror. I trembled too, I gasped for breath.

"Do you understand?" whispered. "You'll succeed without me."